LONG time no update

It has been such a long time since I've updated everyone on my bug man!

Well, he is doing GREAT! Better than we could ever have hoped for, especially since we've welcomed Ms. Emmalyn Kate, or as Andrew calls her Emmababy :) at the end of June. His adjustment to her has been amazing. Sure there are moments of jealousy, but he is SO good and loving to her, it makes my heart melt! <3

 

Over the summer he has just taken off! He is learning he has a place in social situations, He is making friends ( and oh how this makes my heart happy) He is doing simple math, reading sight words, and spelling. This child, who was once NON VERBAL is TALKING IN SENTENCES!!! Asking for things unprompted and turning in to an almost 4(!!!) year old.

We still have meltdowns, Andrew and my self. We still have our hard day and He still isn't potty trained, but it will all come. Though out this whole journey we have learned to take things day by day, and second by second even.

Most days now I am not scared to look in to the future, Sure some days I think he is going to be 15 and still in diapers while all of the other kids his age are getting ready to get their learners permit, but most days I am *excited* for what the future brings

I love this little booger more than words can express. He is a good kid and I am one LUCKY Mama.

One very lucky Mama indeed.

Andrew is having

a baby SISTER!

We are very excited :) Girls do now show up often in my husbands family.

Andrew will come up to my belly and say "sissy" and "baby" and when the babies at day care start to cry, he says "dat ok baby, dat ok" Haha He is adorable

I know last time a wrote Andrew was having a very hard time transitioning to school and day care, but now he is just doing FANTASTIC! The only thing we can think of that changed is when we drop off we leave right away, so he doesn't get the idea that we are going to be staying! I am  just SO proud of him and the progress he is making every day!

Coming up April 27th, we will be participating in our areas Walk for Autism under the team name "Just Keep Swimming" Many reasons behind the name, but mainly Andrew is obsessed with " Finding Nemo" and can literatly quote the whole movie. He and Erik are SO cute to watch together when they play "memo"


I just love my boys and I can not wait to add our princess!

Raw emotions

Trust me when I say that this is going to be all over the place, I am just completely overwhelmed.

When you become a parent, there is just such raw emotion that comes along with it. There is literally a piece of your heart and soul walking around out side of your body. When I got pregnant with Andrew, little did we know what our future would hold. I didn't realize that his struggles would be my struggles, I didn't realize that his triumphs would be my triumphs, I didn't realize that every little thing he would do could impact me so deeply and with such emotion. But it does, daily.

Andrew has been having a hard time since he went back to school after vacation. I mean REALLY hard. Tons of melt downs, anxiety, attachment issues with me and horrible sleeping. There hasn't been one day where I have dropped him off that I haven't left him screaming his head off. If you are a parent, you can understand how devastating that is.

Today, while at Ms. Stephanie's, The school psychologist just so happened to be there observing another child. She saw Andrew and witnessed his melt down. We dropped him off at 8:30 and I got a text at 10 saying he was still upset. :( :( :(. I guess Trisha ( the psych) said something to Stephanie, about how we need to figure something out because "obviously this isn't working" What I don't think she understands is that he is exactly like this at school too. That this high pitched scream she hears every Monday and Wednesday is coming from The blue bear room and out of the mouth of my son.

Tonight, Andrew did not want to fall asleep, he has been off the wall crazy all day, jumping off of everything and screaming for no reason that I can find. As I was laying in bed with him, I lost it... I got on the train to pitty town and just bawled my eyes out. WHY my son? Why does MY child have to struggle with things that would be so simple to you or I? Then I start thinking about his future and that is when I really lose it. I can't go there, Not with how new his diagnosis is or maybe even ever. My mind seems to think it's fun to assume my son will never talk, or have a job, or a spouse, kids, drive a car, Ect... That is not fair!!! It's not fair to assume those things of him and it's not fair to me to have that kind of worry. My mantra since this whole thing has started is "One day at a time" Because honestly, we don't know. All of those things could come true, or he could be the next Bill Gates!

But here I sit in pitty town, looking at my child, wondering, waiting, praying that his life will be everything he can ever dreams it will be. Tears streaming down my face as I think of how crewel people can be. Heart broken because my son will not have the life I dreamed for him.

I need to take a step back and really think, because I *know* Andrew is happy, I *know* Andrew is healthy, I *know* that he makes my heart full of love and other emotions that I just didn't think would ever be possible.

But I also *know* he has Autism. I know that there will be bad days, for him, for me, for Erik. I know people will be judgmental ass holes and judge my son and our parenting.

I guess such is life...

Anxious

For most of this pregnancy (all 16 weeks of it!) I've been pretty laid back, but recently I have been very anxious about having a second child. I really, REALLY can not imagine loving another child, especially as much as I love Bug. I am sure it will happen, it happens to all mothers! Haha, But that is the main thing I am anxious about. Recently, when Andrew has a melt down I wonder how on earth I am going to manage a second child, How on earth am I going to be able to nurse a baby and stop Andrew from jumping off of the furniture, especially in the early days. How on earth I am going to be able to do a lot of stuff?! I know that baby wearing will be a life savor, but then I go on to worry about Jealousy. I know it comes with all most all sibling sets, but Andrew is VERY attached to me. I guess we will see where this crazy life takes us in the next few months, Lord knows we can handle a lot!

Have a good week everyone! Sorry for the short blurbs!